C is for Cookie

That's good enough for me.  And it's probably what I'll get in my statistics class.  For those who hadn't heard, these are my victory cookies.  Tonight was the last shred of participation in my statistics class.  And to celebrate, I'm sharing my (or rather Amy's) cookies with you.  There's nothing like cookies and milk.  Just ask any kindergartner after school.  But because last night's post went over the midnight wire, and I'm up against it again, I'll be brief.  These cookies are awesomely yummy.  In the words of my good friend, Cookie Monster, "Om-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom!"

Just add milk.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 ½ c. shortening                                       4 c. four

1 ½ c. sugar                                                 1 ½ tsp. baking powder

1 ½ c. brown sugar                                   1 ½ tsp. salt

3 Tbsp. milk                                                 1 ½ tsp. baking soda

3 tsp. vanilla                                                3 c. oats

3 eggs                                                           2 c. chocolate chips

Cream shortening and sugars.  Blend in eggs, vanilla and milk.  Add dry ingredients and beat until smooth.  Add oats and mix well.  Add chocolate chips.  Bake 8-10 minutes at 350 degrees.

** I like to use semisweet chocolate chips and do 2 c. white flour and 2 c. wheat flour.  I think it makes about 4 dozen cookies.  Enjoy!

Amy got this recipe from her sister Laura.  She makes good cookies, too.

P.S.  I'm eating some right now.

Something a Little More Manly

Well, it looks like my procrastinating habits of last December are already upon me.  So much for planning ahead.  Oh, well. It just fits with today's theme.  It's a guy thing for the most part--just go with the flow and see what happens.  And that's how I roll...well...more like a hoagie roll.  Today's entree comes from a blog my wife found one night as I was talking about steak sandwiches.  She says it was called the Red-headed Hostess (she thinks), but I don't know because I've never been on it.  And not to be mean, but I don't really care.  The site called them Man Sandwiches, which is kind of a dumb name, but that didn't stop me...and it never will when it comes to food.

I don't know the exact portions for the recipe because I manipulate it and play with flavors.  But here is the list of ingredients and a few steps to follow.

- Flat roast sliced into thin strips.  (You can substitute roast beef from the deli.)
- Diced red pepper.  (Green, yellow, and orange change up the flavor but are all good substitutes.)
- Diced onion.  (This time I used yellow--it's what I had--but red or white give the meal a different flavor.)
- Block of pepper jack cheese. (The smaller you cube the cheese--not cut the cheese--the quicker it melts.)
- Fresh mushrooms (These aren't in the original recipe, but I love adding fresh mushies.)

Cook the steak/beef with the onion and pepper until veggies are soft.  Inhale deeply as you stir.  Add a dash of black pepper if you like.  If you want variation, throw in some jalapenos or banana peppers, too.  Add the cheese.  Stir until its melted like a popsicle on an August afternoon--sticky all over everything.  You could add a touch of hot sauce for more manly fun.  Play with the proportions until you get it just the way you like it.  At this point, you can't do much to ruin it.

Man Sandwich Fixins (Naked)

Serve on a hoagie roll.  Toss on a couple of freshly sliced tomatoes if you start feeling guilty about all that meat you are about to shove down your gob.  You might be tempted to eat it straight out of the pan with your stirring utensil, but Amy says that's bad manners.

All gussied up.

This time mine were served with Salsa con Queso Cheetos, apple slices, and a Henry Weinhardt's vanilla cream soda (bonus picture).  This was actually my birthday lunch this year.  Mmmm...

P.S.  If anyone ever wants to try these, I'll make them for you (as long as you buy the ingredients and let me have some).

Go Stuff Yerself!

Keeping with the Thanksgiving themed post from yesterday, I'll shift to what I believe is the most underrated part of Thanksgiving dinner: stuffing.  Now, I'm not going to undertake the argument of the finer differences between stuffing and dressing; go argue with your grandma.  The following recipe can be cooked either way.  It's delicious both ways, but it's certainly easier to just bake it in separate pans.  My dad and I have experimented with similar recipes over the past several years.  I have no idea where he got his original recipe from.  The following recipe for Sausage and Apple Stuffing is this year's version:

Ingredients: 

·         1 loaf sourdough hearth bread, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (about 11 cups)

·         1 tablespoon canola oil

·         3/4 pound fresh mild pork or chicken sausage

·         4 Braeburn, Gala or other apples, cored and diced

·         3 ribs celery, thinly sliced

·         1 large onion, diced

·         2 tablespoons unsalted butter

·         2 1/2 cups low-sodium chicken broth

·         1/3 cup chopped fresh sage leaves

·         3/4 teaspoon fine sea salt

·         1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

Method: 

Preheat oven to 300°F. Spread bread cubes out on two baking sheets and bake until dried but not browned, about 15 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl.

Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add sausage and cook, breaking up chunks with a spoon, until browned, about 6 minutes. Add apples, celery, onion and butter and cook, stirring occasionally, until apple and vegetables are softened, 8 to 10 minutes more. Add to the bread. Stir in broth, sage, salt and pepper.

If using to stuff a turkey, cool completely before stuffing. If baking separately, heat oven to 350°F; bake in a buttered casserole dish until lightly browned and crisp on top, 50 to 60 minutes.

This year we doubled the recipe (almost tripled the sausage, though) and found out that it freezes decently.

Pumpkin Goodness

There's not too much you could make with pumpkin that isn't worth devouring.  Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin bars, pumpkin pie, pumpkin log (with cream cheese)...I could go on, but I'm going to stop with one particular goody from a gourd.  Last year my mother, tried to blend two holiday traditions: pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving and cheesecake for Amy's birthday.  The result was this scrumptious Pumpkin Swirl Cheesecake.  Mmmm...!

Don't forget the whipped cream!

Crust:

8 whole graham crackers
1/2 cup whole hazelnuts toasted
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 stick(4 Tbsp ) butter

Filling:  

2 bricks(8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
2 Tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup sour cream
2 eggs plus 2 egg whites
3/4 cup white chocolate chips
1 15 oz can pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix)
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/8 tsp ground cloves
1/8 tsp nutmeg

Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Lightly coat 8 inch spring form pan with cooking spray.  For the crust; break crackers into food processor.  Add nuts, sugar and butter. Process to make fine crumbs.  Press firmly over bottom and 11/2 in. up side of pan.  For the filling;  beat cream cheese in a large bowl with mixer on high until smooth.  Then, on low, beat in sugar, cornstarch, vanilla and sour cream until well blended.  Add eggs and extra egg whites, beat just until mixed.  Melt chocolate and add to 11/2 cups of cheese mixture and stir until well blended.  Stir pumpkin and spices into remaining cheese mixture.  Reserve 1/4 cup and pour rest into crust.  Pour the chocolate mixture onto pumpkin batter in a thick ring about 1/2 inch from sides of pan.  Top with dollops of reserved 1/4 cup pumpkin batter.  Run a knife through both batters for a marble effect.  Bake 1 hour 15 minutes or until toothpick inserted 2 inches from center comes out clean.  Carefully run a knife around inside edge to release cake,  Cool cake in pan on a cooling rack.  Then cover and refrigerate in pan at least 4 hours or up to one week.  Or freeze up to 3 months.  Thaw in refrigerator 2 days before serving.

It's good for breakfast, too!

Man Cannot Live By Bread Alone...

...but with these loaves, you might be tempted to try (at least with a little butter and jam).  That line originally came from comes from Deuteronomy 8:3, but it's more commonly cited in Matthew 4:4, when Lucifer attempts to tempt Jesus.  So, yeah.  That's the Sunday connection...the spiritual bread you were seeking for isn't around right now.  i could write something really cheesy about how tempting this bread is, especially as it comes out of the oven as I walk in the door from work, but I won't.  Check the LDS First Presidency Christmas Message if you want something to fill your souls.

My post is simply bread.  However, it's really good bread.  Since I am not much of a baker (never have been, probably never will be), Amy has been trying bread recipes since we were married. Most were too doughy or had the density of a brick.  Just recently, though, she got a recipe form a friend (thanks, Jacoy), and it has now become a family favorite.  She'll make ten loaves (2 batches) every so often.  The kids do a happy dance any time "Mom bread" is the after school snack.  When we have sandwiches as a family, we go through at least one entire loaf.  More if the kids are actually eating that day.

Honestly, it's delicious any way you slice it (yes, pun was intended): sandwiches, toast (plain or French), stuffing, crumbs, etc.  My favorite is straight out of the oven lathered with butter and honey.

Whole Wheat Bread (originally from Mandy Marie Eldridge-whoever she may be)

6 c. hot water
2 T. yeast
2/3 c. honey
2/3 c. oil
5 c. whole wheat flour (sometimes we mix it in with white as well)

1. Lightly mix these items together in a mixer and let them sit in a bowl and "sponge" (bubble and rise0 for about 15 minutes.

2. Start timing 5 minutes now and add 2 T. salt, 2 T. dough enhancer, (add gluten now if you are going to) and 11-12 c. whole wheat flour--enough so the dough begins to pull away from sides of bowl.  Leave the center lid off of the Bosch and let dough finish kneading on high speed for the rest of the 5 minutes.

3. Dump dough onto lightly oiled surface.  Cut into 5 pieces.  Shape into loaves.  place loaves in greased pans (I spray them with Pam.) and cover with a towel.  Let rise until 2-3 inches above loaf pans (about 40 minutes).  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Remove towel, place pans in oven and bake 20-25 minutes.  Remove from pans immediately and place on cooling rack.

4. After bread cools for several hours, it can be frozen.

Other tips:
***This recipe works best with hard white wheat.  If you use all hard red wheat, you need to substitute 5 c. with white flour.
***Dough enhancer is a natural preservative.  It keeps bread from crumbling and gives it a lighter texture.  you can buy it at the grocery store (or in bulk at a Bosch store).
***A favorite whet mix for this recipe is to use 5 c. of red wheat in the first step and then use white wheat for the rest.  This way the bread turns out light and fluffy with a deeper flavor.
***If you are using really old wheat (more than 7 years) you also need to add in 1/4-1/3 c. of gluten (can be purchased at a Bosch store or other places). you add this when you add the salt.

5. Om-nom-nom-nom. Repeat.

Even if you already have a favorite bread recipe, I suggest you try this.  You might be converted.

Food (That) Makes Me Happy!

Happy December.  It's only the first day of the month, and I've already almost missed my new gig.  Yeah, the one I've been proud of planning ahead for.  We're just not going to go there.  Again, I will beg you, for the sake of those around you, and those who will come after you, do NOT lick the screen.  It's only an image.

To start of our adventure in palatable pleasures, I thought we'd start with a breakfast.  I call this one my Wicked Awesome Egg Sandwich.

The ingredients for this morning mouthful include two fried eggs seasoned with black pepper, onion powder, crashed red pepper, and Cholula hot sauce.  They were blended with cheddar, pepper jack, and mozzarella cheeses, fresh green and red bell peppers, thick sliced tomatoes, and (of course) six slices of hickory smoked bacon.  Note: there is also bacon next to the sandwich on the paper plate and orange juice.  All this pure a.m. awesomeness is compressed between two toasted whole wheat bagels slathered with mayonnaise and spicy brown mustard.

Variations on the egg sandwich theme are a favorite among my three oldest children.  They occur about once a week--some results are more elaborate than others.  It just depends on what's left in the fridge.

Warning: In order to eat the wicked awesome egg sandwich, you may have to unhinge your jaw like a python trying to swallow a deer.  Do not attempt when trying to stay clean or presentable.  Messes will occur.

Sickness and Health (and a Preview)

I’m not sure exactly how this post will flow (ignore supposed transitions) since I’m going to double post it—both here on Joe Average Writer and on Fatty’s Blubber Blog. The rare few who frequent both sites don’t need to bother with reading it twice. But I guess those of you who are anal enough to do it…can…I guess. I’d just recommend another hobby…or therapy.

Back from the tangent now: yesterday I came back from being on the sick wagon. No, I didn’t stuff myself with too much turkey or stuffing or pie (mmm…pie) or any birthday treats. Believe me, or not, I’ve held my eating in check at the start of this birthday/holiday season. More on that in a moment.

Last Friday night, Sariah got sick in the bathtub. Gross, I know. Then around one in the freakin’ a.m. Zac wakes me up, and says, “Dad, I barfed. Could you help me clean it up?” Give him credit—he wasn’t covered in puke. He even made sure he made it to the bathroom. However, he didn’t quite make it to the porcelain. An explosion of not-so-well-chewed bean with bacon soup covered the entire bathroom floor. The backsplash made it halfway up the tub and cabinets, behind the toilet and up the far wall at least six inches. How he escaped the blast zone without any on him, I’ll never know. And he was too asleep to register anything.

Two nights later Amy and Brooklyn both tossed their cookies (on Amy’s b-day, even), and my stomach started having issues. I must point out here that I never bowed to the porcelain god, but I still offered tribute, if you know what I mean. Needless to say, I am tired of cleaning up chunks of chicken and pineapple and cheese (and bile). And I am tired of not getting much done.

So, to remedy that period of barfiness, and to celebrate my (relative) health, Amy and I have finished the initial version of our independent study course revision, I have turned in the last of my (also pukey) stats homework, and I have been able to do some planning for when my student teacher jumps ship next week. One thing I have not done is work on my NaNoWriMo novel. Yes, say it. I’m bad.

Now, back to Thanksgiving and birthdays and food and such. This year, for the month of December, I am going to post a picture and recipe of “Food That Makes Me Happy.” Yes, you smart-aleck, that could include most, if not all foods. Yes, the title also sounds a little childish, but do you know what? I don’t care. This time of year is one for reliving those cherished childhood memories of Christmas, those indelible moments that will never vanish no matter how hard we try to erase them…oh, I mean, those moments that will bring us joy throughout our whole lives. Now that I’ve cheesed it up enough for you (more, fresh Parmesan or cracked pepper, sir?), here’s a taste of what is to come, because Thanksgiving makes me happy. In fact, it’s my favorite holiday, I think, but I’ll write about that another time. For now, enjoy the picture. I’m not going to give a recipe today. That’s for December.  Just don't lick the screen.  That's gross.

This delectable plate, by the way, includes turkey of both the light and dark variety, real mashed potatoes, yams, sausage and apple stuffing, homemade bread, cranberry sauce, pond scum, gravy, carrots, sweet pickles, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, sweet bell peppers, and black olives. Pie was later.

P.S. I lost six pounds, too.

What's This Planning Ahead Stuff?

So, as I was scrolling through countless pages of people I hardly know posting about how thankful they are about their spouses, kids, jobs, freedoms, salvation, Twinkies--none of which are to be discounted--I remember that December is coming soon.  And for those few who have followed this blog for the past few years, you know that I do some kind of daily post during the months of December.  It started as a repentant purging of my blogging laxness two years ago.  And so I posted once a day about something that I was thankful for...non-traditional items in most cases.

last year, I posted a music video each day.  That was pretty cool, and I experienced my highest viewership up to that point.  Now I face a conundrum.  How do I top that?  Or, at least, what can I follow up with?  What do I go to this year for my daily December schtick?  I need a new gimmick.  I have a few ideas, but I'm not too sure they would work.  So I'm open to ideas.  What could I post about on a daily basis that fits me?

Please help me brainstorm as I am up to my eyeballs in bad student writing right now.  I feel my brain might just melt--not Wicked Witch of the West melt, mind you, but more like Nazi dudes at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark melt.

Failure Update

So...as most of you would have predicted, the NaNoWriMo is not going well again this year.  On the four days that I've actually been able to work on the novel, though I have over 7000 words. That, in and of itself isn't too bad.  And, yes, I am going to make lame excuses.  You see, I am still writing, just not on the novel.  My stats class and my independent study course revision are kicking my butt.

If I totaled up all the writing I have been doing in other places, just like last year, I'm just about on track.  In fact, I have probably gone beyond my suggested pacing: 25,000 words (since we're half way through the month.

Cool fact: Last week when I came home from class, Amy was alone in the kitchen washing dishes.  Normally, the five-ring circus monkeys are hanging from the rafters, flinging poo, and howling and all that fun metaphorical nonsense.  It was bedtime, after all.  So I went to check on the surreal quietness.  The youngest and oldest were quietly reading on the couch in the living room.  The other three were in their beds (huh? at 7:30?) writing stories!  Makes a geeky English teacher proud!

Weird coincidence: Zac's story is about a protagonist named Ben who meets another character named Jack.  My protagonist's name is Ben, and his father (one of his antagonists) is named Jack.  Cue Twilight Zone theme music.

NaNoWriMo Repentence 2012

So I haven't actually started my novel attempt for this year.  Throw all the rotten tomatoes you want. I have a force field called cyberspace right now.  No, I'm still trying to cram this independent study course together while treading water in my stats class.  I might soon resort to the "dead man" float.  Yep, I did learn something in swimming lessons back in Arkansas so many years ago.

However, life seems to be a little more organized, and I am making progress.  I had an idea in the shower Sunday morning, and I've been laying out plot lines like strands of Christmas lights.  They're tangled, and I'm not sure if they work yet, but the ladder is out, the gloves are on, and it's time to start writing.

Anyone else out there brave enough to take the challenge?