Villainous Comparisons

For part of a unit on identity, I have my 9th graders write a plethora of short writing assignments about themselves; hence some of the recent pieces I have shared recently. For this, which I call "Views of You," each student comes up with a metaphor and follows this pattern:

If (insert your name) were a (insert a metaphor/topic), he/she would be a/an (insert the completed metaphor) because (explain the metaphor).

Example:    If Helga were a car, she’d be a red Porsche because she’s sleek and gorgeous.

They then go survey a few dozen people, decide which are their four favorite and write them up neatly. The next step is for each student to use the same metaphor about herself. This exercise, although initially appearing to the students to be arbitrary and unrelated, causes a majority of them to earnestly think about how others view them (via the data they gather) and how they view themselves using a seemingly simple metaphor.

This year I had my 2nd period assign me a topic. Here is what I came up with:

If Mr. Anson were a Disney villain, he would be Jafar from Aladdin because he has an extensive vocabulary, along with the ability to scheme and hatch evil plots. (Travis Peterson)

If Mr. Anson were a Disney villain, he would be Sykes from Oliver and Company because he's crafty, has skills, and makes sure things go his way...or else. (Kris Holley)

If Mr. Anson were a Disney villain, he would be Ursula from The Little Mermaid because he’s larger than life, a little round, and offers a great deal. (Mark Davis)

If Mr. Anson were a Disney villain, he would be Scar from The Lion King because just like Scar came up with an evil plan to take over the kingdom, Mr. Anson tends to come up with his own evil plans to get students to become better writers. Oh, and Mr. Anson doesn't do cute, so he would not like the cute, cuddly lion cub, nor all the fun singing he does. (Katrina Davenport)

If I were a Disney villain, I would be Hades from Hercules because I am literary, somewhat subtly witty, and tolerant of morons even though they bug the crap out of me and ruin the best of days.