The Fat Lady Belts it Out

The final few minutes are ticking away and my kids are ornery, tired, and yelling at each other as they struggle to stay awake until to midnight. They're also Wii-ing and coming within fractions of inches of nailing each other and the TV with the controls. Ah, sibling rivalry.

There are plenty of things that I could blog about to fill this last post of the year. For instance, I could be thankful that my upstairs toilet flooded a few years ago. Why? Because my dad was able to help me fix it, and today I was able to fix the downstairs one by myself. And I didn't even learn any new plumbing words! Or use some of the ones I learned last time. Heh-heh.

I could be thankful for ward clerks who save me hours of time because they know how to do their job.

I could be thankful that I didn't slide off the road like those dozens of other cool 4x4 off-roading idiots.

I could be thankful for a new niece.

I could be thankful that this New Year's mayhem only comes once a year.

Without a doubt I could be thankful that this is the last of my penance posts.

However, what I am most thankful for right now is the fact that for the past thirty-one days, I have done a little writing for me. It's just a start, and IO hope it will grow. Even though I'm not going to post every night for the whole world to see--okay, the three of you who waste your time on this site--I'm going to keep writing. I'll probably revisit the goals I've set, especially for writing. I know I need to make the time. All my writer friends say so, so I guess it must be true. (Just like the Internet!)

I'm also thankful for Amy and her support as I pursue my degree, as I "fix" toilets, and As I write and do all of those other geeky things I do. She definitely wins "Mama of the Year" in my book.

So, yeah. I guess this is it...or is it? (I hate that ending, especially when students use it in their fiction.)

Stop Laughing (Now)!

I need to send mad props to the twenty-something-year-old tech geeks in my life. More specifically, today, I am thankful for the two dudes who hooked us up at the phone store. Gracias to them, I sent my very first text message E.V.E.R. in my life. In the past year and a half I have started this blog, joined Facebook, and now I've joined the world of texting. Welcome to the decade, Jose! Any suggestions as to where I go from here?

Could It Be Blogger's Block?

My posts lately have been a bit on the lame side, or so it seems. It's a little taxing to try and produce every day. Today, I'm thankful that my penance will be up in two days. Then I'll reduce my musings so I don't overburden my couple of deluded readers with senseless drizzle.

Young Consumers

The season of Christmas TV specials has finally limped off into the sunset, and I, personally, couldn't be happier. No, I really like watching the Grinch's heart grow to the point where the Whos invite him to carve the roast beast. (I've often wondered what the beast tastes like.) Rudolph and Frosty, although cheesy, are classics. But it's those darn commercials that pop up every three and a half minutes that chap my hide. Even little Brook complained, "Mom, please turn it (the show) back on." She didn't want the loud, obnoxious advertisements either. I am thankful for children who are becoming educated (and somewhat critical) consumers.

Case in point: on our way to run a few errands, i.e. spend gift cards, we drove past RC Willey. As we hit the speed bumps in front of the store, Zac blurted, "Your home, your way. That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard." He continued, "I've heard it, like, a thousand times on TV. It's like their motto or something." He has gone beyond catchy jingles. Nice. Now we just have to get Ally to stop whining about putting something else on NEXT year's list every time she watches TV.

Whatever the Weather

After watching the news tonight, I am truly grateful that all the airlines jacked up their ticket prices so high that they drove us away from flying back east for Christmas. Seriously, I've driven through fog and blizzards and hurricanes, but I do NOT want to be out in all that crap that's blowing across the states right now. My apologies to anyone who is stranded or delayed; I've played that game before, too. So...a big thank you to Delta, Southwest, United, and every other major holiday rip off. You saved me a long, cold, boring layover.

We felt the storm last week. See the post from 21 December.

Fire and Brimstone!

At the beginning of 2010 our Stake President challenged us to read the entire Old Testament from cover to cover. Now, for the second time in my life I have read every single begat, every ritual sacrifice, every cubit, every hellfire and brimstone thundering against the boneheaded Israelites who couldn't remember their God from one minute to the next, and every single prophecy. The last time it took me two years to trudge through it. This time I've done it in one. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Old Testament and its stories and teachings. But let's face it; most of the Bible stories the Christian world hears come from a small portion of what's actually in there. Most people would rather get a root canal than read the rest.

I'm thankful for my own stubbornness that drove me to finish the OT. I think about how it parallels my own life. No matter how many boneheaded things I do, no matter how stubborn my will is, or how long it takes me to figure things out, His hands are outstretched still. See Isaiah 5:25. Heck, read the whole chapter. Or the entire book. It's good for you--and not just in a broccoli or soy or cardio sort of way.

Although an arduous task, I am thankful to have surmounted the challenge and gained a deeper appreciation for this ancient book of scripture, a firmer sense of my relationship with God, and a stronger testimony of the Savior and His love for me (and all you other peoples, too).

And now that I've done and gone all churchy on y'all, I'll be thankful if anyone else keeps reading this blog.

Christmas Day

You know, I could be really Cheez-Whizzy and sentimental here, but I refuse. It was a good day. Let's just say that I'm thankful that Santa got everything right this morning.

Christmas Eve

I am thankful I am not a last-second shopper. Instead of rushing in a frenzy through the mall or standing in line with the rest of the freaks at Wal-Mart, I was able to enjoy a great day with my spastic kids. We continued our Noche Buena tradition with a trip to the movies. The kids loved Tangled; even Sam liked his experience on the FRONT ROW! Sidenote: I have a crick in my neck. We then continued on the the Brick Oven, where all five kids ate well (Christmas miracle), and despite my food arriving after everyone else was finishing, it was quite delectable. The Christmas "pageant" with the Smiths was complete with a several giggling wise guys (Zac, et al), a bashful angel (Brook), and a Mary (Ally) who enjoyed snuggling into Joseph (cousin Skyler). Finally, the Christmas jammies and slippers appeared, and it was all I could do to hasten the sugar plums' visit. Tomorrow we'll see what the fat man brings.

SImple Pleasure

Tonight I am thankful for the simple joy and pleasure a smoky bacon and cheddar cheese ball brings. Oh, yes, and crackers, too.

A Rare Breed

So for Scouts tonight, we had a white elephant exchange, pizza, drinks, and video games on the big screen. I am thankful that I don't have six ravenous, odoriferous, pyromaniac teenagers to look after every night of the week. Love the boys, but I'm glad I can send them home at the end of the activity.

P.S. For those of you keeping score at home, this is twenty-one days on a row.

Snow!

So, after I spent the early morning digging out from under (at least) 18 inches of snow, and arriving at work late, school was canceled. Apparently, this is the first snow day Nebo School District has taken in 25 years. What a Christmas present!

I am thankful for the superintendent and his decision that allowed me to play in the drifts with my family, gave me a sore back, and created Freddy the Snowman and his baby Diamond the Snowbaby. (For some bizarre reason it tickled my funny bone like Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby.) Everyone but Sam got in on a little snow action. Zac also learned that it's not wise to upset a snow-shovel wielding wookie. He also learned how to inadvertently fly off jumps and land on his backside while sledding.

I am thankful that snowball fights are something my kids are going to remember, even if they NEVER beat their dad!

List

Today I am thankful for a few things. These are listed in no particular order except for the order that they came sneaking into my brain. Other than that there is no designation of hierarchy in my thoughts tonight.

1. I am thankful that Christmas shopping comes once a year.
2. I am thankful that in less than 24 hours Christmas Vacation will officially be here!
3. I am thankful that I've been able to blog twenty consecutive days.
4. I am thankful for grapes from Sam's Club.
5. I am thankful for grape Kool-Aid.
6. I am thankful that I don't have to visit the BSA office frequently.
7. I am thankful for silent reading.

Christmas Thought

Today I am going to be somewhat sentimental. I am thankful for a moment to pause and reflect about Christmas through the seasonal hymns. And I encourage everyone else to take a private moment for themselves and the simplistic beauty they contain. Tonight I call upon the third verse of "O Little Town of Bethlehem" for my inspiration:

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is giv’n!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of his heav’n.
No ear may hear his coming;
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him, still
The dear Christ enters in.

Text: Phillips Brooks, 1835–1893

Music: Lewis H. Redner, 1831–1908

Ahh...

I am thankful that I can now drift away to sleep on my cozy, flannel-sheeted king-sized bed. Bonus nachos, y'all.

Christmas--Oh That's This Month?

Today, besides feeling much better, I am thankful for parents who live close and have room for Santa to stash his loot before the big present barrage. Man, my kids are going to make out like bandits this year. With my EdD semester done, and these few days "off," it's beginning to feel like I can slow down for Christmas. However, there are still seventeen bazillion things to do in order to be ready. Don't say anything about shopping; I'm still not done. Just don't remind me. I said to knock it off. Stop it.

Maybe over the holiday I'll get around to doing some good writing on a few pieces I've been keeping on the back burner. Maybe all the hidey holes at Grandma's house could come in handy again. Hmmm....

Can't Get Rid of Me That Easily

I think I spoke too soon last night. At approximately 6:20 this morning I completed the cycle and paid my obeisance to the porcelain goddess. It hit me with such a punch that I was literally brought to my knees. I haven't felt so sick since I lost an appendix. Now, I've been able to keep everything down that I've eaten, which is a whopping two saltines and a glass and a half of orange-flavored Powerade. Scrumptious!

While I was in my vomit-induced stupor today, we also had furnace troubles. Today, I am thankful for good, honest heating and A/C servicemen. Tom was probably the only repairman we've had who hasn't tried to con us into buying a new furnace or anything that would cost us thousand of extra dollars. If anyone needs an honest repairman, let me know. I'd be glad to give you his number.

Instead of puking in a freezing house, I can stew in warmth and sickness (but I am feeling much better).

Almost Missed One

Okay, I confess that I had shut down my computer for the night when I realized that I hadn't posted. See how my mind is working tonight? Blah. I'm thankful I didn't yak just now. How's that? (Although I would probably feel better if I did.)

Inspiration, Bribes, Whatever

Today I am thankful for Ghiradelli Peppermint Bark with Dark Chocolate squares for keeping me going through an onerous grading session. If you have not tried on of these delectable morsels, I hereby call you to repentance. On your knees, now! Your eternal progression has been stopped until thou hast partaken. If you know what I'm preaching, can I get a witness?

Really Reading

Tonight I am grateful for the ability to read. No, I don't just mean the fact that I can decipher words and comprehend a text. I'm talking about my ability to really read, to escape into a story (I'm done with textbooks for a few weeks), become part of the journey, and hang on for the ride. I'm grateful for my mother who read to me, for my wife who still reads aloud with me, and for my kids who let me read to and with them. No one is too old to be read aloud to. Just ask all my geeky writer friends.

I love the time I have to read aloud to my students--books that some of them would never dream of picking up, let alone making past page two. I read for them.

But now that my semester is done, I can read for me, and I've been enjoying it. I picked up Funny Business, the first installment of the Guys Read Library, edited by Jon Scieszka. I love short story collections, but today during silent reading, I was devouring David Lubar's "Kid Appeal," and I laughed out loud. Hard. Long. Enough to get stares from my 7th graders. One girl rolled her eyes, tilted her head, and looked at me. "Wha-at?" she snarled. I tried to explain how funny the book was (without disrupting the rest of the class), but all I got in return was an exasperated "unh" and a head shake, as if anyone could ever laugh at a bo-ok, Mr. Anson. She wasn't even trying to fake her way across the pages of Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

So I am grateful that I am able to uncover such pleasures in reading. I do laugh aloud. I do cry. I do need to find out what happens next. I do stay up way past the time all the stupid little vampires return to their beds...doing what...reading: enjoying life experiences, sharing the joy of living with those who can tell it best.

P.S. Most of the other students are begging for me to read it to them tomorrow.

Barf!

“I love writing—the process, the creativity, the ability to vomit my thoughts onto paper and rearrange the chunks, the phlegm, and all the other goopy nastiness (I don’t remember eating carrots?) that shows up.

“The ability to manipulate words and create images and stir feelings is power. Writing becomes a forum for thought, a format in which ideas are scooped up, molded, and solidified, and then thrown into the kiln only to explode, forcing you to rise from the ashes and create again. It forces you to learn.”

These are two metaphors that I mixed during a quickwrite a few weeks ago for my EdD seminar. The professor asked us to quickly jot down about our feelings toward writing. Most wrote about fear or bad memories of writing endless papers. I, junior high teacher geek that I am, had to write about tossing cookies. I’ve actually used that metaphor with my students on several occasions. It was refreshing to hear it used by author Kristen Chandler at the UCTE/LA Fall Conference in her keynote address. She said (more or less) that there are two ways to write draft: vomit it up or bleed it out. Blowing chunks is more my style. Sometimes the feeling, the idea just eats at you from the inside. Then you have to spew, or you’ll explode. If you don’t find the right receptacle, it’s just a big mess that nobody else wants to clean up. And even if it keeps you up all night, you always feel better after you’ve hurled.

So, in a way, I’m thankful for barfing (and Febreeze).

P.S. I shared my scramble with the class and received a round of applause, but the instructor liked the kiln metaphor better. Oh, well.

(Sniffle)

What's this? Eleven in a row! Woo-hoo! If I were a D-I football program, I'd be crying (louder) that the BCS must go because I might have a chance at a big bowl! Sorry, Boise St, you got the shaft again. Well, I'm still on fire in a frazzled, smoldering, burned-out sort of way. No kids have chucked (knock on wood, pseudo-wood, fiberglass, aluminum, or whatever works) so far tonight. I might actually get some sleep. Maybe. And did you notice that it's still the day this post is supposed to be posted.

Amy went Christmas shoppong while I stayed home and fought the good fight with the sickies. I am thankful that I made it through this week with nothing more than the sniffles--and they're not from my reluctance to leave my final paper behind.

Oh, and about me posting my research paper, fuhgeddaboutit. Maybe when the more practical article appears. I promise it will be more reader friendly (and less convoluted by theory and APA formatting).

Not This Again!

Due to my procrastination on a certain paper, (and the continual vomiting of a couple of choice little girls), I am now posting my gratitude on a day that hasn't yet ended, even though the date stamp doohickey says otherwise. I swear, I haven't gone to bed yet. I'm actually contemplating just staying up until Amy wakes up. I haven't pulled an all-nighter like this since I was 19!

I am thankful for my barfmonkeys.
I'm even more thankful that they are not ralphing at this exact moment.
But mostly, today I am thankful that every day is not like this one.

Plastic, Please

Today, I am grateful for plastic bowls and kids who know how to use them in the middle of the night. It sure beats scrubbing sheets and pillowcases and scalps and who knows what else before the butt crack of dawn.

Two weeks ago, during my USU seminar, the presenter asked us to freewrite our attitudes and feelings about writing in general. Guess what I likened writing unto? Yep. My 7th grade mentality took over and promptly constructed the metaphor of vomiting to the act of writing. I'd go into it more right now, but I'm supposed to be writing some research thingy, and I believe I hear someone moaning downstairs. Good thing they all have plastic bowls at the ready. I'll post about the puke images later...when I have more time.... Now, if I could only get the smell out of my nose.

Words, Words, Words

I am thankful not just for Hamlet, but for the power and beauty that words wield. Wait a while and I'll perhaps post my paper on wordplay, its social context, and its place in collaborative writing. Maybe.

Just Stopped to Say...

I'm thankful for the Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, Sixth Edition. And that's all I have to say about that.

I've Got Time

Now, if you'll notice that today is the 6th of December, and yet I am tied for the most entries for a single month this year (with six). Am I awesome, or what? For those of you who answered "what," may your fingers fall off as you are scrolling down and be eaten by a pack of wandering zombies.

I owe all this writing, uninspiring as it may be, to time. Today I am thankful to Amy for giving me the time to write. She was home sick with the five-ring circus, and I was able to stay at school and write my final paper for a class. Yes, most of what I write over the next few years will hopefully draw me closer to that elusive title of Doctor Anson. Now, being Master Anson isn't all that bad. It wasn't much of a change for my students, though. They've always called me master. It might have something to do with a certain Sith affiliation.

Still, I am thankful for the time I have had to write, even if it wasn't super enjoyable; I will say that it was good to gather my thoughts and reflect. Lilke the awesome Mr. Incredible believes, "I've got time." That is, as long as I make it. Perhaps soon I'll be able to write something else. Yesterday I noticed that aside form my smattering of haiku, I haven't written any poetry lately. Tragic. Not black turtleneck or coffeehouse tragic, mind you; just plain old word loss tragic. I'll have to remedy that. Anyone seen a muse floating around nearby?

"Kissing Books"

So I was reading Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones with my lightsaber obsessed eight-year-old tonight, and we came to the part where Anakin gives in to the mushy side (not of the Force) and starts smoochin' on Padme. Zac giggled at first, but as it went on and got smoochier, he started making some pretty decent vomiting sounds. I had to pull his finger from his mouth because I, for one, did not want him to actually blow breakfast burrito chunks on his blankets. Immediately, I though of Fred Savage's performance on The Princess Bride: "Is this a kissing book?"

(To be read in the voice of Strong Bad): Needless to say, I am thankful for kissing books, which my son and I can shun together, even though some of them have some pretty cool fight scenes and car chases and explosions and outer space and sharks and more explosions and ninjas and pirates and even bigger explosions and zombies and sports and gigantic explosions and....

Blue Booger Blower (Sorry, Had to Alliterate)

Well, the obvious choice for today's post is Zac, as he was baptized today. I'm proud of my little doofus. I'd go off and mention all of the awesome things he does and says and is, but then I might be suddenly smitten with the leaky-eye syndrome and get my keyboard wet. Anyway, I'm sure Amy will post pictures and everything on our family blog.

So, I'll choose something else. I am thankful today for bulb syringes. You know...the blue things, the booger suckers that send their victims into a screaming rage even though you're just trying to unblock their nasal passages. Its good for the little snotty noses, right?

However, that;s not how I'm thankful for them. Sam has adopted his as his new chew toy. No, get that image out of your mind. The other end! I don't let my kid munch on his mocos. He's been using the bulb part to nurse those sore gums. And I'll keep on letting him. Little dude tried biting my shoulder twice in the past twenty minutes.

Three in a Row!

No, I'm not grateful for tic-tac-toe, although that's how I made it through a couple of classes in junior high. Today, and notice that it's not really a few minutes after midnight, I'm grateful for the Buy-It-Now option on eBay. I hate, hate, hate, detest, deplore, abhor, etc. getting excited about bidding on an item only to lose it at the last second to a professional bidder. You'd think some of these weasels were bred specifically to torture those of us who don't have a USB port or two at the base of our necks or ethernet running through our veins.

So, thanks to those vendors out there who actually care and let me pay my darn money without haggling. Now my son who lost his Lego C3PO at school (because he takes after his father) has a way to get his Lego droid without buying the Death Star...although this geeky dad thinks that would be pretty awesome, too, but he's too big of a cheapskate to shell out for it.

Teething

Ha! Two days in a row. You didn’t think I could do it. O, ye of little faith. Truthfully, I didn’t have faith either. (See also Chris Crowe’s guest spot on Throwing Up Words.) Actually, yesterday’s post didn’t come through until 12:01 this morning, so it looks like I posted twice on the same day. Not so. Not that you noticed let alone cared, but I’m going to see this through. It appears this one will arrive a few minutes too late as well.

Today, I am thankful for four older children who didn’t really have problems with teething. Sam seems to be an anomaly for Anson children. Over the past two days he’s turned into a Jeckyll and Hyde baby between the hours of 8 and 10 pm. One minute he’s giggling like only a chunky little fuzzhead can, sending a deluge of slobber onto the last dry corner of his last dry onesie. And then…he jerks and twists and contorts his roly-polyness and suddenly he’s staring you down. Nose dripping. Slime flowing. And his attack baby instincts kick in. Those cute little enamel nubs concealed by lip and tongue and drool bury themselves into your shoulder and latch on.

And then the switch flips: Jeckyll. Then back to Hyde. And back. And forth. Back. Forth. Like Brook playing with the living room light. Until the little Tasmanian slime devil has worked himself into an inconsolable screaming frenzy. And then he conks out until morning, when he awakes and remains pleasant and plump until the next bewitching hours. It’s not really all that bad, but it sure was fun to write all those fragments.

Penance

Okay. So I just realized that I did not post once single time in the month of November. I wish I had some really cool excuse like I took the NaNoWriMo challenge and I was 50,000+ words into a novel that was accepted by a big name publisher, or even a small publisher, but that would be lying. I’m just a slacker who has been trying to tread water.

Truthfully, I might have written 50,000 words over the past month, but they would probably be tied back to “provide more specific details” and other such generic feedback. In fact, I’ve written so often lately that I do it in my sleep. Well, not really, but close.

As penance for my slackership, I will post post-Thanksgivingly daily (maybe) for the month of December regarding what I am thankful for. And next year, I’ll do NaNoWriMo, but I won’t be like this dude in this clip I stole about writing a novel.

So, for today, I’m thankful for my wife Amy who tells me to do my homework. I know, it’s kinda generic, but I really appreciate all her efforts to keep me on the scholastic straight and narrow. Research about educational philosophy and theoretical frameworks are much less interesting than…well…just about anything. There are so many good books that I don’t have time for that I need to read. I need to write. I need to watch football. I need to watch basketball. I need to eat. Apparently, sleeping has become optional lately. So, I am thankful for Amy who keeps me on track. She’s awesome. Oh, by the way, all my reflections are done for one class. Only two more papers to go this semester!